I’m Frank Lee Hawkins and this is my story.
What ideas/causes fuel my work, and when/how did they originate?
Seeing the great landscapes of the Californian mountains, deserts, and coasts fuels my art. Another art fuel comes from an experience with God, that occurred when I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior. That experience involved a type of warm flow and undulation. I can’t adequately explain it. But I’ll try because it’s a significant part of the art I do. For a moment it seemed as though I were in heaven, secure, warm and joyful. There was this sensation or knowing that everything I was experiencing was flowing from God, that all was well and knowing that place, wrapped in pure joy, will be my eventual destination. When I die that’s where I’ll pick up at.
Since then in an effort to try to understand what had happened, looking into the Bible I ran across the words “River of Life” I thought maybe that’s the flow I experienced. Not sure though. Since then I’ve noticed something natural that’s similar to my flow experience. In the ocean when fish are moved back and forth by the undulation of water that they live in. Or if you’ve seen the Giant Kelp forests swaying. The whole living environment in constant motion and replenishment of all that’s needed to exist. Now take away the sharks, add warmth, joy, security and immortality, and access to the God who loves you, there ya go. I try to have a sense of that flow in much of my art since that flow was part of the best moment in my life.
What got me into art in the first place?
Exposed to art, photography and experiencing beautiful landscapes from an early age. These things simply imprinted themselves into my core being. By imprint, I mean like when a baby duck follows momma duck. I remember playing on a beautiful beach on Catalina Island at age two. I can recall doing a painting at age 6. Got my first Camera at about age 8. Also in my teenage years, many family members did art and photography. Then a Group of artists known as Visionary Artists began to do things like album covers and posters that really caught my attention. My dad went to an Art College and through his homework, art projects and books I was exposed to many artists and art styles.
Why I create the type of art I create?
Landscapes hit us on a very deep, primal or instinctual level. As a Christian artist, I believe there is a longing for Eden of the past and hope for a Paradise soon to be. These both involve landscape, freedom and closeness to God. Seeing the creation brings to mind the creator. I believe this is why we need parks in cities, and why the very wealthy have massive landscaping done as well as the want for Japanese and English gardens or even your own garden. I create this art in opposition to all things ugly and negative and unnatural.
Here’s what I love about creating my art.
The outdoor photographic aspect of my work gets me out into the natural world. Being there refreshes me and causes gratefulness to God. Hiking through beautiful landscapes gathering photos, ideas and inspiration are the stuff dreams and my art is made of. When the weather is bad, I have a nice home office/art studio to process landscape photos or create art in. I love working from my home.
Core values of mine and my work.
As a Christian artist, it is my hope that my work will let you experience the beauty and wonder of God’s Creation and be drawn closer to Him. For God created the landscape, and then made us and gifted us with a mind capable of appreciating both Him and it. I believe that when a person spends time observing something beautiful, positive, colorful and interesting that they are better off for having done so. In my case creating these works has my mind filled with such imagery and therefore helps me keep my thoughts in a nice place. While art definitely helps me. Art alone is not enough. I need the following combo of things to remain positive and move forward. Jesus Christ, artwork and serving others.
My cause is Christ. So when you buy my work, it helps me to maintain the freedom to write my own work schedule, allowing me to do whatever ministry God would have me do. Historically I’ve been able to take the time to teach the Bible to the public and fill in for pastors at local churches teaching the Word. That was a great experience. I hope to get back to that. Now I’m just trying to get through each day until I’m healed enough from my wife’s passing on Feb 22nd 2023 to resume some form of ministry. God makes me a victor, not a victim.
UPDATE 4-21-23: Yesterday was a nice reminder that feeling better is possible. My friends at various regional churches have been loving and supportive. God will continue to help me through this tough time. He always has and always will. I’m hanging in there. I’m still in the mode of taking things one day at a time.
Thanks,
Frank Hawkins
UPDATE 6-8-23: Although, right now June 2023, I’m a grieving mess and its too early for me to start dating. I do hope that God, in His perfect timing, will bless me with another Wife to do the rest of life with. There’s more hiking, biking and walks to be done, sunsets and conversations to be shared. There’s more of God’s beauty I’ve yet to experience, more service to God, more worship of God and so much more life and love that I would like to share with that Woman of God and future companion. Lord willing 🙂
UPDATE 7-12-23: The grief is significantly easing up, clarity of thought is returning. and I’m now able to get back to doing new art and am enjoying life more often. I am convinced that in Gods’ perfect timing He will answer the prayers mentioned in my previous update
Note to that special future companion: Although I don’t yet know who you are, I’m praying that God would watch over us, protect us, and prepare us for each other until the blessed day when we first meet. When that time comes, may we both see something of God in each other’s eyes. Until then, hang in there future sweetheart. It just may be that for both of us, God has wonderful things for us to do and experience together.
And so my story continues.
UPDATE 9-1-23:I hit the 6-month mark about a week ago. Good News! I’m still an artist, and the new me is beginning to solidify. My sense of humor has remained intact, So I’ll call this “The Beef of the Grief update.” I’ve made up a new word or words to help celebrate the fact that some restoration of the more upbeat me is happening. The words are.
1: De-bummer-ization
2: Un-bummer
3: Bummer-less-ness
Used in a paragraph.
I can now clearly see that a debummerization process is beginning to unbummer me. In time, I believe that with God’s continued help, I’ll experience a near bummerlessness day.
I hope that made someone laugh because I know that’s part of what I do and why I’m here.
God, Bless
And so my story continues.
I’m doing this Holiday and probably Christmas by choice with just God and myself. (I’m not getting together with other family this time.) In this way I can feel whatever I need to feel without having to hold it together emotionally for the sake of someone else. I figure there will be some healing in that. Next Year I’ll seek out some company for the holidays.
There’s still so much to be thankful for. Happy Thanksgiving. 🙂
God, Bless
My healing is progressing nicely and so story continues.
Every so often someone is able to experience something difficult and complex and make some sense of it (in this case “grief” from the loss of loved ones) When that person is also wise in ways of expressing what they have learned in a literary form that can be shared in a way in which the truth of the discovery can be felt as truth and agreed upon by those similarly affected. Then more people including myself can have at least some understanding of what they are going through, that understanding, in the midst of the chaotic streams of grieving thought seems to bring at least some stability. Regarding what grief really is I’ve seen nothing more perfect than the following statement.
Jamie Anderson said, “Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All of that unspent love gathers in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”
These things I’ve also learned.
1: Even in times when my worst fears become a new hellish reality, a nightmare from which one can not quickly awake or escape, still God loves me, hears me, and helps me through it all. With God, I can make it through anything.
2: Many of the things or attributes that you loved about the person that’s passed on can still be found in other people.
3: Don’t be too proud to accept help from friends and family who truly love you when you are epically overwhelmed or incapacitated.
4: For most people time really does help heal.
There’s so much more I’ve learned that I’ll be able to use to help others get through this stuff.
So thanks for listening, I know some have already been helped by what I’ve written over the past 10 months. Others will be helped by running across me in person over time.
And now on with the home stretch of my run for Heaven. I don’t know how long that will be, but that time will be spent with people that I already love and with new people whom God inserts into my life to love and to be loved by.
That sounds Awesome! to me.
Now let’s see how the rest of my story goes.